Marie, My Love (What Happened Instead)
by Pt29646
Summary: When Jean D'Aurigny is fatally injured while saving Ben's life during a round up, Ben promises to go to New Orleans to tell his family and friends of his death - and to deliver a special message to his estranged wife, Marie.
1. Chapter 1

The door opened, and Ben Cartwright found himself confronting a small boy with chestnut curls and green eyes. "Good afternoon." he said. "Is Madame D'Aurigny home?"

The child looked up at him suspiciously. "What business have you with ma mere?"

Such a demand coming from such a little boy should have been funny, but Ben was sympathetic with the child's desire to protect his mother. "My name is Benjamin Cartwright, and I have news for Madame."

The boy studied him carefully for another moment, and then stood back to allow him entrance. The home was small but comfortable and spotlessly clean. "Please be seated, Monsieur, while I see if ma mere is home."

Ben sat down, and jumped to his feet in a second as the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen entered the room. "Who was at the door, mon cher?" She stopped when she saw Ben, and the boy went to her, standing between them as if to protect his mother from harm.

"Madame Jean D'Aurigny?" Ben asked.

"I am Marie du Val-D'Aurigny, and this is my son, Charles. What do you want?" She remained standing with one hand on her son's shoulder and the other holding his hand. They made an elegant picture, this mother and child, and it took his breath away.

"I am Ben Cartwright, Madame D'Aurigny, and I have news of your husband, Jean." He looked at the little boy. "Would it be possible for us to speak alone?"

"No, monsieur," said the boy, "I do not leave ma mere alone."

"Very well," said Ben. Marie D'Aurigny took a seat and Charles stood next to her holding her hand. His stance reminded Ben of his son, Adam, and the posture he took when he was protecting his little brother, Hoss.

Ben sighed and stood up. The story was a brutal one and difficult to tell. As he spoke, he looked away from Jean's wife and young son, and began to pace in front of the fireplace. "I come from the Nevada territory, Madame, where I have a ranch, the Ponderosa. Your husband, Jean, came to work for me two years ago when I was just starting out. The work was hard and - sometimes - dangerous as I was building up a herd of cattle and rounding up wild horses to break and sell to the army. Jean was a great horseman, and he became a great friend. This past fall we were working on the last roundup for the last cattle drive of the year. I was on evening watch when something frightened the cattle. My horse fell, putting me in the path of the stampeding herd. Jean rode out to me and pulled me up behind him on his horse. He saved my life, but he was gored in the thigh by one of the steers. An artery was ruptured, and he bled to death before we could..." Ben's voice shook and he stopped speaking.

"Thank you for coming to tell me of my husband's death," said Madame D'Aurigny. Ben looked at her, and saw that the child's face was buried in his mother's shoulder. She held him close, murmuring in his ear.

"I'm sorry to give you such distressing news, but I promised Jean when he was dying that I would come to see you." Ben cleared his throat. "He gave me a special message for your ears alone, Madame."

"Of course, Monsieur Cartwright, one moment." The young woman stood and, lifting her son in her arms, carried him out of the room. In a few minutes she returned alone. She sat down and waited, her hands folded in her lap.

Ben found it difficult to face her. As hard as it had been to tell her of her husband's death, he thought it almost impossible to deliver the last message, especially since he had just seen Jean's son. "Jean wanted me to tell you that he forgave you."

She smiled, and there was a look of bitterness on her face. "He forgave me? How generous of him, but there was nothing to forgive." She rose and extended her hand to him. "Thank you for coming to tell me of Jean's death, Monsieur Cartwright. For my son's sake, I thank you, and now I wish you good afternoon."

He took her hand in his, noticing how small and delicate it was in his large, work-worn hands. "I'm going to be here several days, Madame. I have some furs to sell. I wonder if I might see you and your son again?"

She was about to refuse, but he pressed his advantage. "I'd like to tell your boy more about his father. He was a good friend, and my sons loved him."

She shrugged. "Once again, Monsieur Cartwright, for my son's sake, I accept. Please join us for dinner tomorrow evening - unless you and Madame Cartwright have other plans?"

"Thank you, Madame, only - there is no Mrs. Cartwright. I have been a widower for the last four years." As he spoke the words, a flash of pain went across his face, and Marie D'Aurigny was impressed by a man who mourned his wife for years.

"I am sorry for your loss, Monsieur."

Ben thanked her for her invitation and left, going to the fencing studio of Marius Angeville. He knocked on the door and was admitted by an elderly man. "Mr. Angeville?" asked Ben.

"Oui, monsieur, I am he. How may I help you?"

"I was a friend of Jean D'Aurigny-" Ben began, but Monsieur Angeville interrupted him.

"Oh, a friend of Jean's? You must come in, sir," and, opening the door wider and stepping back, he beckoned Ben enter. Once inside, he took Ben's cape, cane, and hat, and offered him a seat and a glass of wine. Only when he'd made his unexpected guest comfortable did he ask about Jean.

"How is my dear friend? I haven't heard from him in months. Are you Monsieur Cartwright of the Ponderosa? Jean thought highly of you and your two young sons. You know, Jean has a son, Charles. Have you met him and his beautiful mother, Marie? She was Marie du Val, of Creole extraction." Words poured out of Marius Angeville so fast that Ben was hard put to follow his conversation.

"I am Ben Cartwright, and my ranch is called the Ponderosa. I met Madame D'Aurigny and her son earlier today. Mr. Angeville, I must tell you about Jean." Something in Ben's tone caused the old man to pause.

"You come bearing sad news of Jean?" Ben nodded, and the old man seemed to shrink into himself. When he said nothing else, Ben repeated the story he'd told Marie and Charles. Marius looked up with tears in his eyes.

"I was afraid of something like this," Marius said. "When I didn't hear from Jean for so long...he wrote every week, sending money to me for Marie and the child. Poor Jean." He sighed and looked down at the floor.

Ben was silent, leaving the old man to his thoughts. He finished his wine, and stood up. "Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Angeville."

Marius stood. "Thank you for coming to see me, Monsieur Cartwright. It cannot have been easy to deliver such sad news. Where are you staying?"

"Well, nowhere yet. I was hoping you could recommend-"

"You will stay here with me," said Marius.

Ben shook his head. "Oh, no, I couldn't impose-"

"It is no imposition. You will stay here and we will tell stories of our friend, Jean, and we shall become friends, shall we not?" In the face of such overwhelming hospitality, Ben had no choice but to accept.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben woke the next morning with a dry mouth and a splitting headache. He and Marius had gone out for supper, and had come back to spend the evening reminiscing about Jean over several bottles of wine. He rose slowly and carefully, and managed to stagger over to the wash stand. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and groaned. His eyes were bloodshot, and his nose looked red and swollen. Ben pulled himself together by sheer willpower, cleaned his teeth, and washed his face. His hands had stopped shaking enough to shave. He dressed and went downstairs.

"Ah, Ben, there you are. Now we will have breakfast." Marius looked up at him with a smile as he entered the main room which served Marius as a studio, dining room, and sitting area. The thought of food nearly caused Ben's stomach to revolt, but Marius handed him a glass of something dark and thick. "Drink it down, Ben, very quick, and it will put all things right."

Ben swallowed it fast and set the glass down. For a second the world seemed to turn itself around and he shut his eyes tight, but when he opened them again, things were right side up and he could bear the bright sun of New Orleans. Marius watched him and smiled. "It's my own special receipt, and it works every time."

They went out for breakfast and Ben got directions to the elder Madame D'Aurigny's home. "I do not envy you, mon ami," said Marius. "She is a bitter old woman, that one, and she has tried to make life unbearable for Marie and Charles."

"It doesn't matter," said Ben. "I promised Jean."

Marius shook his head. "I know - the deathbed promise. Well, I will see you later perhaps."

They parted and Ben walked to Madame D'Aurigny's house. It was on Esplanade, one of the most exclusive French neighborhoods. The homes were large and stood on relatively small plots of land. He realized that most of them had courtyards and gardens which couldn't be seen from the street. At last he came to a mansion that stood some distance from its neighbors, and saw that he'd reached Jean's boyhood home. He climbed the stairs and knocked on the front door. It was opened by a servant who asked Ben for his card. "I don't have a card," Ben said, "but I bring news of Jean D'Aurigny. I know it's early, but I have business later today..."

The man bowed, and left Ben standing in the hall. He looked around and noticed the fine furniture and turkey carpets. He'd known that Jean came from a wealthy family from some of the things he'd said, but he hadn't expected anything quite like this. The servant returned and led Ben to a small sitting room upstairs. The room was dark and there was a musty odor. "Come in, Monsieur Cartwright." The voice came from the darkness. Ben strained his eyes to see who spoke. A lamp was lit, and Ben saw an elderly woman dressed in black sitting in a chair. She wore a veil, and Ben couldn't make out her features.

"You have news of my son? Is he coming home?" Her voice was cracked.

"I have news, Madame D'Aurigny, but it is sad." Ben repeated his story for the third time since arriving in New Orleans. The elder Madame D'Aurigny listened without interrupting. When he finished, she remained quiet. Finally unable to bear the silence, Ben asked her if he could call someone for her.

"No, there is no one to call, Monsieur Cartwright. I have outlived my husband, my brothers and sisters, my friends, and now you bring me news that I have outlived my son." Her tone was bitter.

"I could contact the younger Madame D'Aurigny and her son, Charles," Ben offered.

"NO!" the old woman shouted. "You will not contact that slut and the bastard she tried to foist off on Jean. She bewitched him with her Creole charms! He would never have looked at her, otherwise. It fell to me to end their marriage." She began to mutter, and a elderly maid came running into the room. She looked at Ben, and said in a low voice, "You must go, sir. Leave and do not come back."

In spite of the servant's words, Ben watched as the maid began to pet her. "Hush, now, you've no reason to be upset. Just hush. See, the bad man is going away. He's leaving, now hush."

Ben turned and left.

**...**

He walked for hours through the streets of New Orleans as he considered Madame D'Aurigny and her confession. The scene had shaken him badly, and he walked to calm his nerves. At last he made his way to the New Orleans office of the American Fur Company, and sold his furs. He didn't get quite as much as he'd hoped, but it was still a good profit and would mean a more comfortable winter on the Ponderosa. He found a book store and purchased several new books for Adam and a picture book for Hoss. He wondered if Charles liked to be read to, and he decided to purchase a book of fairy tales for Jean's little boy.

When he returned to Marius's, he found his host was giving a fencing lesson, so Ben took his purchases upstairs. He washed and changed his clothes, and then left for supper with Marie and Charles. When he arrived at their small house, he couldn't help but compare it to the mansion he'd visited that morning. If he'd been Jean, he'd had have chosen Marie and the cottage with its bright airiness over the dark musty mansion with all its luxury.

There was no answer when he knocked on the door, but he heard laughter coming from the back of the house so he walked around to find Marie pushing her son in a swing. "Higher, Maman, higher!" the boy shouted. Ben stood and watched them, smiling at the happy picture they presented. They were both laughing, and Marie's hair had fallen down. She looked more like a young girl than the mother of a child. She saw him and straightened up at once, trying to smooth her hair back into place. Charles vaulted out of the moving swing, and landed near Ben. "Good evening, Monsieur Cartwright. Maman says that you will tell me stories about my Papa."

"Yes, I will. Your father was a very good friend to me and my sons," Ben smiled down at the youngster. Charles took him by the hand and led him over to a chair. Ben sat down, and Charles climbed into his lap.

Marie was horrified. "Charles, no! You mustn't-"

Ben waved her off. "He's fine, Madame. I have two sons at home. Adam is ten and Hoss - Eric - is four. It's nothing for me to have a boy in my lap." He handed a package to Charles. "Here is something just for you."

Charles opened the package. "Look, Maman. It's a book. Thank you, Monsieur." The boy opened it and tried to read the title. "A book of fah-air-eye?" He looked at Ben. "That's very good, Charles, to sound it out. Fah-air-ee - fairy." Charles tried again. "A book of fairy tales." He looked at Ben and smiled. "Merci, Monsieur, je vous -"

"In English, Charles," reminded Marie.

"Oh, yes, Maman. Thank you very much, Monsieur Cartwright. I will enjoy this book very much." He slid down from Ben's lap and took his treasure inside. Ben watched him go. "He reads well. How old is he?"

"Charles is four years old, Mr. Cartwright. I began teaching him to read last year when he was three. He's very bright, and very hard working."

"Like his mother, no doubt," Ben smiled. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking, and, by the time Charles joined them after putting his new book in his room, were calling each other Ben and Marie. Charles climbed back in Ben's lap, and asked for stories about his father. Ben was happy to oblige, and the two spent a happy hour together.

Marie excused herself to finish preparing their supper. Because they had company for supper she'd splurged that day and purchased fresh shrimp, vegetables, and fruit. She made coffee with chicory, and announced that supper was ready. Ben and Charles joined her, and Ben inhaled the delicious aroma. "Mmm, something smells good," he said.

"Maman is a wonderful cook," said Charles. "This is my favorite - shrimp creole with creme brûlée for dessert. Do you like shrimp creole, Monsieur Cartwright?"

"I've never had it before," Ben admitted, "but I'm sure it will be delicious."

As they ate and talked, Ben was impressed with Marie's determination to provide for and educate her son. He knew from Marius that Jean had sent money each month to provide for them, but the money hadn't gone very far in the city. Marie had been offered work in her cousin's gambling house, and it would have paid very well. She had refused it because it would have meant leaving Charles. Instead she had become a seamstress, and through the few connections she'd made as a student at the convent school, had managed to support her son and herself. The nuns had helped her, too, by referring their students' families to her.

"Have you no family to help you?" Ben asked.

Marie smiled. "I have a cousin, Edward Darcy, but he's so busy we don't see him often. I have my dear friend, Marius, who spends Sundays with us and plays with Charles. He says he will give Charles fencing lessons when he is taller than an epee. My son and I have all that we need, Ben. You mustn't be concerned about us."

After supper they moved to the small sitting room where Charles listened to more stories about his father on the Ponderosa. Ben was a natural storyteller, and he tried to make the stories exciting while focusing on what a good man Jean had been. He succeeded better than he knew as Jean went from being a misty figure in his child's imagination to a colorful hero that the little boy could respect.

While Ben was telling Charles about his father, Marie cleared the table and put the dishes to soak. She brought a tray with coffee into the sitting room to find Ben holding a sleeping boy. Marie reached to take her son, but Ben shook his head. "I'll help you put him to bed," he whispered and Marie led him to Charles' small bedroom. Ben carried the little boy in and laid him on his bed. He undressed Charles and put him in his nightshirt so gently that the little fellow never woke. Marie covered him up and kissed him goodnight.

She and Ben went back to the sitting room, and enjoyed another cup of coffee. Ben looked at his watch. "I should go. Thank you for a wonderful evening, Marie." As she walked him to the door, he turned. "I'll be in the city for a few more weeks. May I see you - and Charles - again?"

"I'd like that, Ben, and I know Charles would enjoy it, too." Ben said good night and left.

**...**

Ben walked back to Marius's studio, feeling relaxed and happier than he had in a long time. He missed his boys, and Charles helped fill the gap. Ben was very much a man's man, but he enjoyed the company of intelligent, graceful women - something he'd had in his marriages to Elizabeth and Inger. The time he'd spent that day with Marie caused him to realize how long it had been. She was a good cook, too, although Creole food was a bit spicier than he was used to.

Marius was up when he got home. "How was your evening, Ben?"

"Very enjoyable." Ben sat down and Marius poured him a small glass of wine. "Charles is a bright little fellow, and Marie, well, Marie-" Ben broke off, and Marius smiled.

"Yes, she is very beautiful and intelligent and hard-working. She would make you a good wife, Ben, and be a good mother to your sons."

Ben jerked upright. "I didn't come to New Orleans to find a wife!"

"No, you didn't, and she isn't looking for a husband. Jean hurt her too much, but Charles needs a father - and Marie is a young woman - only twenty-three, Ben. How old are you?"

"Thirty-one," Ben answered before he thought. "No, Marius, don't try to play matchmaker."

"I'm only pointing out that the two of you could have children together." Ben groaned, and Marius laughed.

**...**

Edward Darcy walked quickly through the dark streets until he reached a house on Esplanade. He moved around the back of a mansion, keeping to the shadows. He noticed that the paint was peeling and the wood was rotted through in places. He knew the neglect came from lack of interest rather than a lack of money. He knocked softly on the door, and a servant let him inside. He walked upstairs to Madame D'Aurigny's sitting room. It was darker than usual and he stopped in the door. "Come in, Edward."

"I can't see anything - light a lamp." His tone was disrespectful, but he had no patience with the old fool. All she wanted to do was sit in the dark and feel sorry for herself. If he had her money, he'd - well, he'd do a lot of things, but sitting in the dark wasn't one of them, well, unless his beautiful cousin, Marie, was with him.

A match glowed in the darkness, and a lamp was lit. Edward stepped into the room, making a face at the musty odor. "Why don't you dust this room, open a few windows, and let out the stench?"

Madame D'Aurigny angrily struck the floor with her cane. "This room is just as it was the day that Jean left me for that - that _putain_! Nothing has changed.

"You destroyed their marriage - with my help, of course. You had your revenge. What do you want now?" He sat down without her permission and lounged in the chair.

She eyed him with distaste. "I want to destroy _her_. I want her to lose everything - her son, her home, her reputation - everything."

Edward stared at her. "You vile evil old devil. You're insane."

She laughed, and the sound sent a shudder through him. "Yes, I might be, but you'll do anything for money, won't you, Edward? And I have lots of money."

Edward leaned forward. "What did you have in mind?"


	3. Chapter 3

Ben had been in New Orleans for over a month, and had seen Charles and Marie every day. He'd done some shopping for the boys for their birthdays and Christmas, and found that he had started to include small items for Charles as he considered toys for Adam and Hoss. On his third visit Charles had stopped calling him "Monsieur Cartwright" and started calling him "Oncle Ben." It sounded a little odd in French, but Ben was glad the boy accepted him as a friend. He'd asked Marius to stay with Charles that evening so that he could take Marie out for supper. Marius had agreed, and Charles was looking forward to spending an evening with his Oncle Marius.

Marius had called on Marie when he knew Ben wouldn't be there, pointing out that he was handsome, young, and successful. He had two boys of his own and would make a good father for Charles. Marie had rolled her eyes. "Marius, I never want to marry again. Jean was my love, my husband, and he abandoned us because he believed a lie about me. I can't go through that again, and I can't ask it of Charles."

"Marie, Ben is not Jean. I believe that you can trust him with your future as well as that of Charles." Marie just shook her head at him and refused to listen. She enjoyed the time Ben spent with them, but she refused to allow herself to fall in love with him. Still, she found herself dreading the day he would leave the city - and her.

Ben and Marius arrived together. Charles opened the door, and jumped up into Ben's arms. "Oncle Ben!" he hugged Ben hard around the neck. Ben laughed and hugged him back. "Hello, Charlie."

"Have you a greeting for your Oncle Marius?" smiled the old man. Charles leaned over from Ben's arms and hugged him. Marius put his arms around the boy. "You're a good little fellow."

Ben put Charles down as Marie entered the room. Her hair was in ringlets, and her dress was simple but elegant. Her beauty took Ben's breath away. She smiled at Marius and Charles. "I've made soup - all you have to do is heat it up, Marius, and no staying up all hours. Charles goes to bed at eight o'clock, don't you, my love?"

Charles looked up at his mother, "Oui, Maman." Marius looked down at the child and winked. Charles giggled and knew that he and Oncle Marius would be awake as late as they liked. Ben helped her into her cloak and they left.

"Where are we going for supper?" asked Marie.

"It's a new place near the river," Ben answered. "It hasn't been open for very long.

They entered the restaurant, and the maitre'd seated them near a window. Marie looked around, and noted gleaming chandeliers and wall sconces. The walls were painted a rich red, and rugs woven in jewel tones lay on the floor. "It's so beautiful - thank you for bringing me here, Ben."

"It's my pleasure. You look very beautiful tonight." Ben stared at the woman across the table and thought how wonderful it would be to see her across the table every day for the rest of his life. Their supper was served, and as they ate the delicious food and drank the wine, Ben enjoyed the conversation as much as he enjoyed the vision of Marie. It was their first meal alone, and, while he had come to love Charles, it was nice to have an adult conversation.

Ben leaned in to speak to Marie. "It cannot have escaped you how much I've come to-"

Marie put her hand up to stop him. "Please, Ben, this has been a wonderful evening - don't spoil it. I know you love me, and I have come to love you, but I cannot marry you. After Jean left us, I was so deeply hurt I promised myself I would never love another man. When you brought me news of his death, I promised myself that I would never marry again. I have my son to raise and educate, and my duty is to him."

"Marie, Charles needs a father. I have two sons who need a mother. I love you, respect you, and admire you. I want to cherish and take care of you and Charles." Ben stared into her green eyes, and saw that they were filled with resolve. He sighed, "Very well, I will respect your wishes."

She was a little surprised and disappointed that he was giving up so easily. On the other hand, it was good to be taken seriously by a man. She didn't realize that Ben hadn't given up - he was just considering a different approach to take before he left the city. He called for the bill and they left the restaurant. As they went back to Marie's home, he was quiet. Marie stole a glance at his face, and saw from his expression that he wasn't angry, just thoughtful.

When they reached the little house, Ben saw the front door was wide open. He pushed Marie behind him, and went inside. Marius lay on the floor, unconscious. His face was bruised and bloody. Ben knelt beside him while Marie, calling for Charles, ran back to her son's room. The sheets had been thrown back and the bed was empty. Marie's voice was urgent. "Charles, it's Maman. Come to me, mon petit. Charles!" She looked under the little bed, in the armoire, and then ran to her own room to search it.

In the sitting room Ben helped Marius sit up and then lifted him to the settee. Marius groaned and forced his eyes open. "The boy - they wanted the boy. I tried to stop them, but there were three of them." He groaned again and sagged against Ben's arm. Marie ran back into the room. "My son - I can't find him!" Her face was pale, and her green eyes blazed in her face. For a moment Ben thought she might faint, but she rallied.

Marius looked up at her. "Marie, ma cherie, I failed you. They took the boy."

"Who took the boy?" Ben asked.

Marie and Marius looked at each other. "There is only one who would take him - and only to hurt Marie," whispered Marius. "Jean's mother, Madame D'Aurigny."

"His grandmother?" Ben was horrified. "Surely not!"

"She is insane, Ben," said Marius. "She was angry and jealous when Jean chose Marie, and, after he left New Orleans, her hatred grew until it took over her mind. She is behind this."

"But who would carry out such an evil plan?" Marie wondered.

Marius gave a weak laugh. "Your cousin, Edward Darcy. That one will do anything for money."

"Oh, no," said Marie. "Edward loves Charles and me - he would never-"

"You are right, my dear, Edward does love you but not as a cousin should, and he is kind to Charles because that it is the best way to get to you," said Marius. He groaned again and slumped forward. Ben caught him before he slid onto the floor.

"Take him to my room," Marie said and Ben lifted the old man into his arms. He followed Marie back to her bedroom, and laid the Marius down. Marie went for rags and water, and Ben slipped Marius's shoes and stockings off. He looked around the room and saw that it was very simply furnished with the bed, a chair, a small table with a lamp, a washstand, and an armoire. There was a simple wooden crucifix on the wall, and a portrait of Charles on the table.

Marie came back, wet a rag, and began cleaning the blood from Marius's face. He moaned, and she murmured comforting words to him. Ben stood back and watched as Marius's eyes fluttered open. "We must go after Charles, Marie." He struggled to sit up, and Ben moved around the bed to stop him.

"Stay here, Marius - I'll go after him. Do you know where they would take him?" Ben asked.

"To old Madame D'Aurigny first, and then - who knows?" Tears filled Marius's eyes, and he wept for the child he'd been unable to protect.

Marie wiped his tears away with her fingers, and held a glass of water to his lips. "Drink this, Marius, and rest. Ben and I will go after Charles, and we will return with him. All will be well."

Ben stared at her in surprise. "You're not coming with me." He was very firm.

Marie went to her armoire, took out a derringer and an epee. She handed the gun to Ben, and said simply, "Yes, I am. He is my son, Ben." Her eyes bored into his, and he realized there was no point in arguing. He and Marie left for the big house on Esplanade.

...

The street lamps cast shadows as Marie and Ben hurried through the city streets. Marie took his hand and led him through alleys and small twisting streets as they took a different route to Esplanade. He had checked the derringer before they left her cottage, and it was loaded. He noticed that Marie held her epee outside her cloak, ready to attack. It had surprised him at first that Marie was willing to fight for her son, but then he remembered Inger's actions that terrible day at Ash Hollow and how she'd fought to protect Adam and Hoss.

They came up to the D'Aurigny home through the back garden. By working their way up through bushes and trees, they made their way to the house undetected. The house was dark, and Ben couldn't see anyone posted as a guard. Silently and swiftly, they moved to the back door, and then they were inside the kitchen. The butler and the maid Ben had seen on his visit were sitting at a table, their eyes wide in surprise.

Marie pointed her epee at the butler. "If you make a sound, I will kill you. Is my son here?" she demanded. The man nodded his head. "Where is he?" The man pointed up, and they realized that the boy was upstairs in Madame D'Aurigny's room.

Marie put her epee down, and looked around the kitchen. She went to the window and took down a curtain. Grabbing a kitchen knife, she cut it into strips. She bound the butler and maid to their chairs and gagged them. Then she stood back. "If any harm has come to my child, I will come for you." Her voice was quiet and deadly, and they knew that it was a promise, not a threat.

She grabbed her epee and Ben followed her up the servants stairs to Madame D'Aurigny's room. The door was closed, but he could see a light under it and hear voices.

"He looks like Jean, Madame. Are you sure you want to get rid him?" Edward Darcy asked.

Ben felt a shiver run down his spine at those words, but Marie couldn't bear to hear anymore. She pushed the door open and entered the room. Only one lamp burned in the room, and it gave a poor light. Her cousin was standing by a settee on which Charles lay. His eyes were closed, and she couldn't tell if he was breathing. Madame D'Aurigny was in her chair. Marie stared at her boy, and then looked at her cousin. "Get away from him." The words came out in a hiss.

"NON!" Madame D'Aurigny was struggling to rise. "You took my son! I shall take yours!"

The interruption caused Marie and Ben to take their eyes from Edward for a second, but that was all he needed. He scooped Charles up in his arms, and held the boy in front of him as a shield.

"Put him down!" Marie shrieked.

"No, my dear cousin, he's coming with me." Edward shifted the boy in his arms. "He's very small - I can snap his neck in an instant. Now if you and this gentleman will get out of my way..." Edward's voice was quiet and cold, and Ben realized that he was a natural-born killer. He took careful aim with the derringer. Edward was so focused on his cousin he hadn't paid enough attention to Ben - or maybe it was just that the room was so dark he hadn't noticed the gun. Edward began to count, "One, two-"

"Three." Ben fired the pistol, and the bullet struck Edward in the center of his forehead. For a second he stood staring at Marie in surprise, and then he fell to the floor. Marie was by his side in a moment, pushing him off of Charles, pulling her son into her arms. She rocked him, "Charles, my baby, my little one. Wake up, my son." She looked up at Ben. "He won't wake up."

Ben knelt by her side, and put his ear to the boy's chest. There it was! He looked at Marie in relief. "I can hear his heart beat. He's alive - they must have drugged him." He and Marie turned to face Madame D'Aurigny. "What did you give him?" Ben demanded.

She had dropped back in her chair when Edward was shot. "I don't know - you killed the only one who knew, you _fil de bas_."

Ben took off his coat and wrapped it around Charles. He handed the gun to Marie and stood with the boy in his arms. "Come, Marie." He strode out of the room and Marie followed him as they left the house on Esplanade.

**...**

The doctor they summoned that night didn't ask too many questions. He had treated Charles first. He mixed charcoal and water, and managed to get the boy to drink some of it. It made him sick, but the doctor was satisfied that he vomited up whatever drug Edward had given him to keep him quiet. After he woke fully, Charles burst into tears, and reached for Marie. She carried him to a chair and sat with him in her arms, rocking him.

"I tried to fight them, Maman," he sobbed.

"Hush, my little one. Maman knows you did your best," she soothed. At last he quieted down and went to sleep. Marie continued to hold him in her arms, stroking his hair and kissing his little hands.

Ben left them to sit with Marius. The doctor stitched up a cut on Marius's forehead. "You'll have a scar there," he said, "but you can tell everyone you got it in a duel."

Marius opened his eyes wide. "I did get it in a duel - of sorts," he added. The doctor laughed and mixed some hartshorn with water. He helped Marius drink it, and then lie back down. Marius closed his eyes as the doctor covered him with a quilt. He motioned to Ben and the two stepped into Marie's sitting room.

"The old man is in worse shape than the boy," he said. "He's been severely beaten, and there's nothing much to do for that but let time heal him." He handed Ben a vial. "Here's some laudanum - give it to him to help him rest from the pain." Ben took it and thanked the doctor for coming, paid his fee, and walked him to the door. He went back to check on Marius. The old man was sound asleep, and Ben turned the lamp down a bit. Then he went to Charles' room, and found Marie and Charles sound asleep in the chair. Gently Ben lifted the two of them and placed them in Charles' little bed. He covered them, and stood looking down at them for a moment, wishing that Marie had consented for them to become part of his family. The he turned the lamp down and went back out to the sitting room. He stretched out on the settee. He reloaded Marie's derringer, and kept it close to hand as he guarded his friends' rest.

**...**

Ben woke to the delicious odor of coffee brewing. He sat up and smiled as Marie brought him a cup of coffee. "Good morning, Ben," she said, and sat down beside him on the settee.

He took a sip of coffee. "Good morning, Marie. How is Charles?"

"Still sleeping." She hesitated, and then reached out and took his hand. "Thank you for saving my son, Ben. If you still wish it, I will marry you and go to your Ponderosa."

Ben stared at her hand. The words were ones he'd longed to hear - but not this way. He gently pulled his hand away from hers. "Marie, I want you to marry me because you love me, not as some kind of misguided repayment for what I did last night."

Marie stood and walked away from him, thinking of the right words to convince this good man that she not only loved him but trusted her future and her son's future with him. She turned and faced him. "I do love you, Ben, and I have been aware of it for awhile. I've been afraid to trust anyone since Jean, but last night - last night, I knew that I could trust you to cherish us, to care for us - that those were not empty words for you - easily spoken and easily forgotten." She moved back to him and knelt on the floor, looking up at him. "Ask me, Ben."

He put down the coffee, and, sliding off the settee, knelt beside her and faced her. He took her hands in his and, raising them to his lips, kissed them. "Will you marry me, Marie du Val D'Aurigny?"

She kissed his hands and caressed them against her cheek. "Yes, Benjamin Cartwright. I will marry you.


	4. Chapter 4

"Adam, do you think Pa will be home today?" Hoss missed his father, and had asked his older brother that question every day since Ben had left for New Orleans.

"I don't know, Hoss. Pa sent a telegram saying he hoped to be home sometime this week." Adam missed his father just as much as his four-year-old brother, but he was getting tired of the daily question.

"I wish he'd come home soon," Hoss sat down flat on the floor just as Hop Sing came into the room.

"Boys, it's time for you to eat breakfast. Go wash up." As he spoke, the small Chinaman took Hoss by the hand and helped him up. Adam came over and led Hoss to the sink in the small bath house next to the kitchen. He washed his brother's face and hands before tending to his own. They went back into the kitchen and Hop Sing boosted Hoss up to the table. Although he was tall for a four-year-old, Hoss was still short enough to need help getting into his chair. He placed glasses of milk in front of both boys along with bowls of oatmeal. Hoss thanked him by sticking out his tongue at it, but Hop Sing ignored the child's action, and added cream and honey to the hot cereal. Hoss smiled and began to eat.

Adam had seen Hoss make a face, but he had ignored it, too. Both he and Hop Sing had given the little boy a lot of leeway since Pa had left for New Orleans. When they finished breakfast, Adam took Hoss outside with him to help him weed the kitchen garden. He showed Hoss which plants were weeds, and how to pull them up without damaging the tender young vegetables growing next to them. They were hard at work when a wagon pulled up, and a tall man climbed down.

They looked up and ran to him. "Pa, you're home!" Hoss hugged his father's legs and Ben lifted him up and looked at him. "You've grown while I was away, boy. Pa missed his little one." He hugged Hoss and set him back down.

He opened his arms to Adam, and Adam grinned and ran into them. He hugged his father's waist, and Ben dropped a kiss on the dark head. "I've missed you, son." Adam stepped back and smiled up at his father, and Ben ruffled his hair.

"Did you bring us a surprise, Pa?" Hoss asked eagerly.

Ben laughed. "Yes, boys, I did." He turned to lift a small boy down from the wagon. "Boys, I've brought you a new mother and brother. This is Charles D'Aurigny, Jean's son." While Adam and Hoss looked the newcomer over, Ben lifted Marie down from the wagon. "I'd like you to meet your new mother. Marie, these are my sons, Adam and Hoss."

Adam and Hoss stared at the beautiful woman who was smiling at them. She opened her arms, and Hoss ran to her. He hugged her, and she lifted him up to kiss his cheek. He was taller than her own son, although they were the same age, and solidly built. He gave her a smack on the cheek before she put him back down. "Merci, mon fils."

Charles gave her a dour look. "He isn't your son, I am."

"Hush, my son. I am their new Maman just as Ben is your Papa." Marie gently corrected her son, and he was quiet.

Adam stood back staring at her. She was beautiful, more beautiful than Inger had been, but she couldn't possibly be as loving. Marie smiled at him and offered him her hand. "Hello, Adam, I am very happy to meet you."

Adam took her hand and shook it as his father had taught him. "I'm pleased to meet you, ma'am." He walked around the back of the wagon to help his father unload their trunks.

"Don't try to lift them, son, they're too heavy for you." Ben admonished Adam.

Hop Sing came out just then, and Ben introduced him to Marie and Charles. "Mrs. Cartwright, I am happy to meet you." He turned to Charles who stepped behind his mother. Marie pulled him back out. "Charles, don't be shy. Come out and meet Mr. Hop Sing."

"It's just Hop Sing, Mrs. Cartwright," Hop Sing smiled down at the little boy. "Do you like cookies?"

"I do," shouted Hoss as the adults laughed.

"I know you do," said Hop Sing. He waited to see if Charles would answer. At last the little boy spoke, "Oui, monsieur."

"Good," Hop Sing smiled. "Boys, come with me while your father takes care of the trunks." Adam and Hoss followed him. Charles hesitated until Adam turned back and held out his hand. Charles looked up at him, and Adam smiled. "Come on, Charlie," said the older boy. "I knew your Pa, and he was real nice. We're glad you're here." Charles took his hand and let Adam lead him into the kitchen.

A couple of the hands had come out to greet Ben and meet his new wife. They carried the trunks inside while Ben arranged with another hand to return the wagon to the livery stable in Virginia City. Ben and Marie suddenly found themselves alone in the yard. "Well, Mrs. Cartwright, welcome to the Ponderosa." Ben scooped her up and carried her across the threshold of her new home. He set her down just inside the door, and Marie looked around.

"This is lovely, Ben. I thought it would be much more-" she paused, searching for the right word.

"Primitive?" Ben laughed.

Marie smiled at him over her shoulder and he caught his breath. "Well, perhaps a bit." She seemed not to notice his reaction, and walked further into the great room, looking around her. It was sparsely furnished, and Ben's desk stood in an alcove. There was a huge fireplace with a couple of wooden chairs and a bench in front of it. She put her hand on the back of a chair, and it wobbled. She noticed a pile of painted blocks and a group of toy soldiers on the floor, and smiled. Clearly it was a home with children. She could see herself and Charles being happy here.

Adam, Hoss, and Charles came into the great room, and joined them. "Pa, can I show Charlie my room?" asked Hoss.

"I think that's a fine idea, Hoss. Let's let him change clothes first, and then you can show him around the house and yard." Ben picked up a small trunk. "Let's go upstairs." He started up the stairs, and Hoss took Charles by the hand. "Come on, Charlie." The two small boys followed Ben, and Adam was alone with Marie.

She sat down in a chair and smiled at the boy. Ben had told her that Adam didn't take to strangers, and she knew that she and Charles had surprised him. "Well, Adam, your father tells me you like to read."

"Yes, ma'am." Adam's hands were stuffed into his pants pockets, but she could tell that they were curled into fists. The child was very tense, and Marie's heart went out to him. She stood and walked over to one of the trunks. "I brought some of my favorite books with me." She bent down and, unlocking it, opened the lid. Adam was by her side in a second. The trunk was filled with books. The boy had never seen so many at once. Even the mercantile in Virginia City didn't have so many books for sale. Marie pulled one out, and held it out to him. "This is one of my favorites, Adam. It's an adventure story about a young man who is wrongly convicted and sent to prison, _The Count of Monte Cristo_ by Alexandre Dumas. Would you like to try it?

Adam accepted the book almost reverently. He looked at Marie with shining eyes. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am." He carried the book over to the fireplace, sat down on the floor, and, leaning against the hearth, opened the book and began to read. Ben came downstairs with Hoss and Charles. He spotted Adam, and smiled at Marie. "That will take care of him for the rest of the day."

Marie noticed that Charles had changed clothes. Instead of his traveling suit, he was dressed in old worn clothes, and she looked at Ben. "They're Adam's from when he was little. I didn't want him to get his good clothes dirty, and, well, Hoss's clothes wouldn't fit." He sounded a little defensive, and Marie smiled at him.

"Of course you are right, mon mari. Thank you for helping Charles." Ben smiled at her. He still couldn't believe this beautiful cultured woman was his wife.

"Come on, Charlie. There's new kittens in the barn," and Hoss led his new brother outside.

Ben shouldered Marie's trunk and, motioning to her, said, "If you'll come with me, Marie, I'll show you our room."

Marie smiled and followed him upstairs.

**...**

It was still dark when Ben woke up. He felt a slight weight on his chest, and shifted. Marie rolled off him with a sleepily murmured apology. He smiled. They had been married for six months, and he still couldn't believe his luck - that she had chosen him. He sat up in bed and looked at her. Her chestnut hair was spread over the pillow, and he kissed her bare shoulder before getting up. The room was chilly, and he built up the fire in their fireplace before getting getting dressed and washing up. He was shaving when he heard her stirring behind him.

"It's still dark outside - come back to bed, my husband."

Ben turned and looked at her as she stretched, and was very tempted. He walked over to the bed, and bending down, kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him, and their kiss deepened. "I love you so very much," he sighed into her hair. He kissed her forehead and cheek, and eased her back down before stepping back to the wash stand.

"You work too hard," she said. "Where will you be today?"

"We're going up to the north pasture to take bales of hay up there for the winter. I need to supply the line shack up there, too. We just finished building it, and I want to make sure it's fully stocked."

Marie slid out of bed and put on her nightgown, robe, and slippers. She opened the door, and Ben caught her arm. "Go back to bed, darling. You don't need to get up this early."

She smiled at him. "I do if I want to get a little time alone with you today. I'll get your breakfast started, and it will be ready by the time you finish shaving." She left, and Ben turned back to the mirror.

From the beginning, Marie had taken over the task of preparing breakfast for her husband. It gave them time together to talk and plan before the boys got up. She had spoken to Hop Sing about it, and, once he understood that this time was very important to them, he slept a little longer in the mornings and prepared breakfast for the children. Although Marie ate breakfast with Ben, she always sat with the boys while they ate and enjoyed a second cup of coffee.

By the time Ben was downstairs, Marie had set two places at the small table. She poured his coffee, and brought him a plate of ham, eggs, and biscuits. Ben looked at it in appreciation. Not only was the food prepared as he liked it, it was served on a china plate. He and the boys had been eating off of tin plates until Marie came. She had gone to the mercantile with him, and selected a set of china for the family. She had brought her linens and silver with her, and Ben appreciated that they now enjoyed a more elegant - a more civilized - lifestyle, at least at mealtimes.

He had seen changes in his sons as well. Hoss had taken to Marie and Charles - Charlie - right away. He and Charlie shared a room, and Marie had begun teaching Hoss his alphabet. Ben and Adam had made an effort to teach him in the past, but Hoss had resisted, preferring to be read to rather than learning to read himself. Marie had always set aside time to teach Charlie in New Orleans, and she'd continued to do so at the Ponderosa. She had included Hoss in their lessons as a matter of course, and the good-natured little boy had fallen in with her schedule. He called Marie "Maman" as Charlie did, and had picked up a few other French phrases.

Adam had been a little stand-offish at first, but that was typical of the older boy. He was shy and wary of strangers, and Marie and Charles had been a shock to him. Marie had given him time to become more comfortable with her, suggesting books for him to read from her collection and helping him with his lessons.

She hadn't been sure what she would find in Virginia City, so, after selling her cottage, she had gone to a bookstore with Ben and Charles in tow, and purchased a set of McGuffey's readers, arithmetic, science, geography, and history books. They had walked to the bookstore, but the three of them were so loaded down with her purchases that he'd had to hire a cab to take them to Marius's where they were staying until they left for the Nevada territory. When Ben had protested that she was buying too many books, she had silenced him with a look. "My children will be educated," she'd said, and that was an end to it.

Marie had ordered comfortable furniture for the great room as well. Adam and Hoss had been skeptical at first, having grown up in wagons on the way West, and then in a small rough cabin. When the red leather chair came, Ben had settled into it with a huge smile while Hoss and Charles had climbed up on the new settee. The boys lay down at either end and stretched their legs towards each other. Marie had laughed, and then told them there would be no feet on the new furniture. Gentlemen sat up in chairs and on settees.

Hoss had looked at her and asked, "Are we gentlemen, Maman?"

"Most certainly you are," she'd said.

"Is Pa a gentleman?" Hoss had looked at his father.

"Your Papa is the most courteous, chivalrous, bravest, and gentlest of men," Marie had smiled at the boy and then the father. They had exchanged a tender look.

She'd asked Adam's opinion in choosing the new furniture from a catalog, and the boy had pointed to picture of a wing chair upholstered in blue velvet. Ben had wondered about the combination at the time, but Marie had ordered it to Adam's delight. When it came, Marie had asked him where he thought it should go, and he had pushed it near the fireplace across from Ben's red leather chair. It had become his favorite spot for reading, and the family thought of it as "Adam's chair."

For herself she had ordered a rocking chair. A small sewing table stood next to it along with a basket of cloth or clothes in need of mending. Marie's current book was there as well, and, she sat there reading or sewing and resting in the rare moments she had to herself while the little boys were napping.

Ben finished his breakfast and Marie walked him to the door. He strapped on his gun belt, put on his hat and coat, and Marie kissed him goodbye. "Be careful, my husband." He went out the door with a smile on his face that hadn't faded when he met with the hands to give them their orders for the day.

Marie went upstairs to gather her clothing, and then went to the small bathing room off the kitchen. She had put water on to heat when she was preparing breakfast for the two of them and it was hot enough now for her. She bathed and washed her hair, then stood by the small fireplace to dry it. She could hear Hop Sing in the kitchen as he made breakfast for the boys. She heard feet running down the stairs, and knew it was Adam going to do his barn chores. He would milk the cow and gather the eggs for Hop Sing before coming in to wash up for breakfast.

Her hair was dry enough, and Marie quickly put it up and dressed. She went out in time to see Hoss boost Charlie up on the bannister and watched her son slide down. He saw her and smiled. "Come help me down, Maman." She went over and lifted him down, setting him down with a kiss on his forehead. Hoss came down the stairs, and she greeted him the same way. "Good morning, my sons. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, Maman," they chorused and ran to the table where Hop Sing was bringing out bowls of oatmeal. Since Marie had come, she insisted that the boys have the hot cereal for breakfast every day because she thought it was healthier for growing bodies. On Sunday mornings the family ate breakfast together, and the children enjoyed eggs, bacon, ham, and biscuits then. When Hoss had objected to eating oatmeal every morning, Marie had told him, "I ate oatmeal every day growing up, and I am healthy and strong now. Don't you want to be healthy and strong when you grow up?"

Hoss had stared at her. "How strong are you, Maman?"

Marie had caught him up in her arms and swung him around to his surprised delight. "I am strong enough to pick up my son and swing him." She'd set him down then, and tickled him. "I am strong enough to hold my son and tickle him." Hoss had burst into giggles, and Marie had hugged him close to her. "I am strong enough to hug my son and kiss him and kiss him and kiss him." She had planted loud smacking kisses on top of Hoss's head and cheeks and forehead. The child had gone laughing to the table, and swallowed every bite of oatmeal with no complaints then or afterward.

Ben had to admit her way of handling a reluctant eater was better than his which involved orders, pouting, and tears. He'd come home later that day to find the boys playing in a swing that she and Hop Sing had hung. Adam had shown Marie some scrap lumber, and the two of them had measured, sawed, and cut holes for ropes. They'd sanded the wood until it was smooth, and then gotten Hop Sing to help them hang it from a tree near the kitchen garden. She and Adam had taken turns pushing the little boys, and then Marie had pushed Adam until he decided it was time for him to show Hoss and Charlie how to pump their legs to make the swing go themselves.

Ben couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Adam play or heard him give a belly laugh, and, while he blessed Marie for bringing fun into both his boys' lives, he was very grateful for what she'd done for Adam. He was becoming more childlike and less serious. He seemed to worry less, and to be more relaxed.

Adam had shown her Jean's guitar, and she'd tuned it and played for them. When Adam told her shyly that Jean had been teaching him to play it, she'd started giving him lessons on it herself. It brought them even closer, and Adam now called her "Maman."

Charles had been resentful of sharing his mother at first, but when Marie pointed out that Adam and Hoss were sharing their father with him, he'd settled down a bit. Ben began spending some extra time with the boy, and it had paid off. Charles had stopped calling him "Oncle Ben" and now called him "Pa," just as Adam and Hoss did.

There had been only one crisis. Ben had taken him to visit Jean's grave, and the little boy had stood and stared at it for a long time. That night he'd waked the family with screams from a nightmare. When Marie had tried to pick him up, he'd screamed louder and fought her. Ben had stepped in, and Charles had locked his arms around his neck and buried his face in Ben's shoulder. Ben sat down on the bed with him while Marie took Hoss to spend the rest of the night in their room.

"What's wrong with Charlie?" Hoss had asked over and over.

"He just had a bad dream. Your Papa wil calm him," soothed Marie as she led the little boy away.

Ben held Charlie and rocked him. When he stopped crying, Ben asked him what had frightened him so. "Papa's buried in the ground, and he came and wanted me to go down there with him."

"Shh, Charlie, it was just a bad dream. Your Papa is in Heaven, and he wants you to live on the Ponderosa with your mother and me and Hoss and Adam." Charlie had finally gone to sleep in his arms, and Ben had put him in his bed. When he tried to tuck him up, Charlie woke up and grabbed him around the neck. Ben lay down beside the little boy and spent the rest of the night there.

The next morning he'd met Marie downstairs at breakfast. They were both heavy-eyed and sleepy, and, when Ben opened his arms, Marie walked into them. They stood together, holding each other. Ben closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of Marie's head while she leaned against him, eyes closed, her head on his chest. They heard footsteps on the stairs, but didn't open their eyes, even when they heard high little voices. "We want to hug, too," and Hoss and Charles hugged their parents' legs. The four of them stood like that until they heard Adam say, "What are you doing?"

Ben didn't bother to open his eyes. He just said, "We're hugging, son. Come down and join us." Somewhat to his surprise, Adam came over and put his arms around Ben's and Marie's waists. They each put an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him in close. After a few seconds, Adam asked, "Why are we doing this, Pa?"

Ben kept his eyes closed. "Because, son, we're the Cartwrights."


	5. Chapter 5

The weather had gotten colder, and snow had fallen. Work days were shorter, and Ben enjoyed being able to spend more time with his family. Marie was making plans for the family's first Christmas together. Adam told her about the family ritual of cutting down a tree on Christmas Eve and decorating it, and Marie thought it was a wonderful idea, to Adam's delight. Ben wasn't so sure. She had given him a list of animal shapes to carve to serve as ornaments for the tree. Once the animals were made, it was Adam's job to paint them, and he worked on them in the evenings after Hoss and Charlie had been put to bed. He was allowed to stay up longer than Hoss and Charlie, and enjoyed being given more responsibility.

One afternoon while Hoss and Charlie were napping, Marie brought down a box filled with straw. Adam came over to watch her open it. "What is that, Maman?"

"It is a creche, my son. We must find a special place to put it where we may all see it and remember the reason for Christmas, but a place that will be out of Charlie's reach. He would not mean to break them." As Marie spoke, she took out several small China figurines. She hadn't mentioned Hoss, but Adam knew Hoss would want to handle them, too.

"What are they?"

"You know the Christmas story, mon fils. Who would this man be?"

Adam smiled. "I see - Joseph, Mary, the baby is Jesus, and here's the angel."

"Oui - very good." Marie smiled at him and dusted the figures. Now where should we put them? Hoss and Charlie should be able to see them but not touch them."

They looked around the great room, and Adam looked up at the mantle over the fireplace. "What about there, Maman? We could all see them, but they would be out of reach of everyone."

"Everyone including me. That's very good, Adam. When your Papa comes home, we will ask him to set them up there for us."

"We don't have to wait for Pa - I could climb up on a chair." Adam suggested.

Marie considered his suggestion. "All right. We will be very careful and you will not fall."

Adam fetched a chair from the kitchen, and Marie held it while he climbed up on it. He stood even with the mantle, and, satisfied that he could reach it easily without over-balancing, Marie handed him each figurine. He placed the baby in the middle with Joseph and Mary on either side and the angel to the side.

"It is perfect, Adam." He stepped down off the chair while Marie held it, and they looked at the creche. Marie put her arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. "Thank you for your help, my dear."

**...**

That evening Adam asked his father for permission to look at the big family Bible.

"Certainly, son. Is there something you wanted to see in particular?"

"I wanted to see which animals were in the manger with the Holy Family," Adam said. "I'd like to make them to add to Maman's creche. It would be my Christmas gift to her."

"That's a wonderful idea, Adam. I know she'd appreciate it, and it would be something we would all enjoy for years to come." Ben got the big Bible out, and a pen and paper, and he and Adam made a list of the animals needed and then added a few - a donkey, a cow, a sheep, and a lamb. "That's only four, Pa. Oh, but we need to add the shepherds. Those will be harder to make."

"What if we made this a joint present, son? I could help you a little with the carving. What do you think?" Adam considered it carefully. He really wanted it to be just his gift, but six figures would be a lot to carve and paint before Christmas. "I think that would be good, Pa."

Ben smiled. "Then we'll get started tomorrow afternoon. We can work in the barn so your mother won't see us."

The next morning Adam found it difficult to concentrate on his lessons. He wanted to begin carving the animals and shepherds for the creche. Marie spoke to him a twice, and finally released him. "If you cannot concentrate, there is no point in your trying to study this morning. Go out to the barn and help your Papa," she said.

Hoss and Charlie looked up. "We want to go, too." Adam held his breath. The little boys would get in the way, and they'd never be able to keep a secret from Maman.

"No, you will stay here with me and continue to work. Your brother is older, and, except for today, is an excellent student. You would do well to follow his example - except for today." Adam put his his coat, hat, scarf, and mittens, and went out to the barn. He had drawn pictures of the animals he wanted to make the night before after he'd gone up to bed, and put them in his coat pockets when he'd gone out to do his morning chores.

Ben was waiting for him with a small pile of scrap wood. Adam showed him his drawings. "These are excellent, son." They began carving, and by dinnertime, had made the donkey and cow. They put their things away, and cleaned up the wood shavings. After dinner, Marie allowed Hoss and Charlie to go outside and play in the snow. Adam helped them build a snowman, and then Marie came out to join them in a snowball fight. Ben, Hoss, and Charlie fought Marie and Adam. It ended in a draw, and the family went back inside, laughing and talking. Hop Sing had hot cocoa and cookies ready for them. They sat in the great room, and Hoss and Charlie played with their soldiers while Ben and Adam played chess. Marie was knitting, and she looked around to see her family, together and content. It was a perfect moment, and she wanted to lock it in her memory.

That evening Adam went upstairs with the little boys, saying he wanted to go over the lesson he'd left unfinished that morning. "Very well," said Ben, "but you're not to work too late, son. You need your rest."

Marie and Ben were left alone in the great room. "It's so quiet," Ben said.

Marie laughed. "It is unusual, is it not, my husband?"

"It is. Put your knitting down, and come over here." Marie put her knitting away, and went over to stand in front of Ben. He looked up at her and smiled, and pulled her into his lap. They kissed, and she rested her head on her shoulder.

"Are you very tired, Marie?" Ben asked. "My work eases off during the winter, but your's -"

"My husband, I am never too tired to spend time with you, and teaching our sons, raising them to be good men, as fine as their father, is part of my purpose in life. Being a good wife and mother - it is what I am meant to do. Do not worry that I work too hard. Also, Hop Sing is here. He does most of the cooking and housework. My life is easy compared with most women's." She kissed her husband again and slid off his lap. She reached for his hand and pulled him up. "If you are not too tired, let us go upstairs a little early tonight." Ben smiled and let her lead him up to their room.

**...**

Adam was up early the next morning. He had completed his chores and started carving the sheep before Ben came out to the barn. "Adam, you're here already?"

"Yes, Pa. I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I thought I'd do my chores and then work a little on the animals before breakfast." He handed the sheep to his father. Ben examined it. "You've done a good job, son, but you need your rest. Go back inside and eat with your brothers. Then come back here after your lessons. No, go ahead, I'll put your things away." Adam handed his knife to his father and went back to the house. Hoss and Charlie were just coming downstairs and Hop Sing was putting bowls of oatmeal on the table. Marie looked around at him in surprise. "Adam - you've already been out this morning?"

"Yes, Maman, I had something to do." He took off his outdoor things and took a seat at the table. Hop Sing served him a cup of hot milk, and Adam drank it gratefully. He'd gotten chilled working in the barn, and the hot food tasted especially good. Marie put sugar and cream on his oatmeal just as she did for Hoss and Charlie. He usually fixed his own cereal, and he looked at her questioningly. "You need the extra food, my son, if you've been working out in the cold." He ate quickly, and then went upstairs for his books. He settled down at the table while Hoss and Charlie were still eating their breakfast. Marie was enjoying a cup of coffee with them.

"Maman, will Pere Noel know where I am this year?" Charlie asked. "Does he know he has to bring presents for Hoss and Adam, too?"

"Who's Pere Noel?" Hoss asked.

"He is like your Santa Claus, but in New Orleans, we know him as Pere Noel," Marie answered. "And, yes, Charles, he knows that you and I have moved to the Ponderosa and that you have two new brothers. We will put out Adam's and Hoss's shoes along with yours. If you all have been good, they will be filled with good things. But if not..." she shook her head sadly, "I fear you will find only a switch."

"Adam and me hung up our socks last year," said Hoss. "We got some nice things - I got my soldiers and blocks and Adam got books." Charlie made a face. "Well, it was what Adam asked Santa for - he wrote a letter to Santa for both of us." Hoss thought for another minute. "We got clothes, too, and Adam got a new pair of boots."

"I put out my shoes, and I got candy and an orange and a book and..." Charlie furrowed his brow in thought. "I can't remember everything I got, but it was all nice. There was too much to fit in my shoes, so the book was sitting next to them."

"Well, my sons, if you have finished eating, take your bowls to the kitchen and get your books. It's time to begin our lessons." While they were busy, Marie listened to Adam read and checked over his arithmetic. "Very good, my son. Now you must study your history book." Adam took up the book and looked at it. He'd studied no history until Marie came, but the book was one of the texts she had purchased in New Orleans, and one of the first books she'd given him when she realized that he was far advanced in his studies for his age. She knew part of the reason was because Ben had taught his little son himself, but a greater part was because Adam was a natural student who loved learning for its own sake.

Adam took his book and went over to the blue chair. He settled into it and began to read. It was interesting and he enjoyed learning about the past. Marie would ask him questions later. The fire was warm, and the chair was comfortable, and he drifted off to sleep with the book in his lap. When he woke up, he was lying on the settee with a blanket draped over him. Marie was sitting in her rocker, knitting, and Ben was reading in his leather chair. He could hear Hoss and Charlie outside. Marie smiled. "You have had a good nap, Adam." He sat up, embarrassed. "I was reading about General Washington, and -"

"And you dozed off. It's all right, Adam. You needed your sleep more than you needed to know about Washington today. You just got up too early this morning, and I think you may have stayed up too late last night, studying yesterday's lesson." Ben smiled at him. "You have plenty of time to do all that you want to do, son."

Hop Sing brought Hoss and Charlie inside then, and they ran to Adam. "Do you feel all right, Adam? Maman wouldn't let us wake you up to come out and play with us. She said you were tired and needed a nap. I didn't think big boys had to take naps. Pa put you on the settee and covered you up and told us to be quiet. You got to put your feet on the settee. Maman says gentlemen sit up in chairs. Does this mean you're not a gentleman?" They peppered him with questions until Marie shushed them.

"Hush, my sons. One is never too old for a nap. Your big brother got up very early this morning and worked very hard - that is why he took a nap. He is a gentleman - never doubt that. Now take your things off and put them away - dinner is almost ready." As she spoke, Marie was helping them out of their coats and scarves. "Go wash your hands and faces."

Adam got up and led them to the bathing room. He saw to it that they cleaned up. "Adam, we built another snowman - we're going to build a snow family. You can help if you want." They went back to the table and stood at their seats while Ben seated Marie. After he sat down, they sat. Ben had insisted that Adam and Hoss learn and practice good manners, but after Marie and Charlie joined the family, she had started adding a little extra polish. They joined hands and Ben said grace.

Hop Sing brought in the big soup tureen filled with a thick vegetable soup and followed it with a platter of slices of bread. Ben filled their bowls and passed them. Hoss and Charlie were not allowed to speak at the table unless spoken to, but Adam could join the conversation if he chose since he was older and had much more responsibility. He was quiet, and, after a few minutes, Ben reached over and felt his forehead and then the back of his neck. Both were a little warm, and Adam looked at his father. "What's wrong, Pa?"

"Nothing, son, I just wanted to be sure you weren't running a fever."

"I feel fine, sir." Adam went back to eating his soup. His appetite was normal, and Ben relaxed.

After dinner, Marie took Hoss and Charlie upstairs for their nap, and Adam and Ben went to the barn. Adam finished carving the sheep and went to work on the lamb. Ben finished carving the first shepherd, and showed it to Adam. "What do you think, Adam?"

The boy studied it carefully and smiled at his father. "It's beautiful, Pa. Maman will love it."

"You're doing a good job with your carving, son, and this was a good idea." Ben began working on the second shepherd, and Adam finished the lamb. He pulled out all four animals and studied them. They heard the little boys come outside, and they put everything away. The barn door opened, and Hoss and Charlie came inside. "What are you doing? We'll help you. Come outside and play with us, Adam. We want to build another snowman. Maybe we can have another snowball fight. Maman said she would come out in a few minutes. Play with us."

Ben and Adam looked at each other and grinned. They followed the little boys outside and made more snow people. Marie joined them in building a snow lady, and then she and Adam and Hoss fought a snow ball battle against Ben and Charlie. When their noses were bright red, Marie insisted everyone come inside. As before, Hop Sing had hot chocolate and cookies ready for everyone. Later they sat before the fire, and listened as Ben read one of the stories about David from the big family Bible. At one point he paused and looked around the room. Hoss and Charlie were sitting on the floor, leaning against his legs. Marie was in her rocking chair, listening to him read, and - for once - her hands were at rest. Adam was curled up in the blue chair, staring into the fire. As he looked at his oldest son, he realized that the boy's normally tan cheeks were bright red. Did he have a fever? He hated to be sick, but he was quick to run high fevers - as his mother, Elizabeth, had been. At that thought a chill ran down Ben's spine, and he stopped reading abruptly. He put the Bible aside and stood up. In a second he was by Adam's side, feeling his forehead. It was burning hot. Adam looked up at his father and put his arms up. "Pa, I don't feel so good. May I please go to bed?" The actions and the request were so unlike Adam that Ben was frightened. He picked Adam up as if he were a small child, and ran up the stairs two at a time. Marie went to get Hop Sing.

In just a few minutes Adam was settled in his bed with hot stones packed around him. Hop Sing had put kettle filled with herbs on the small stove that stood in the corner of his room, and the fragrant steam began to fill the room. Ben wiped his boy's face with a cool damp cloth. "Pa, I'm so cold." Ben put another quilt on the bed, and stood back while Hop Sing helped him drink a cup of herbal tea. Adam sank into a deep sleep, and Ben sat beside him, wiping his forehead, neck, and chest, and praying for him.

Marie kept Hoss and Charlie downstairs. "What's the matter with Adam?"

"Your big brother is ill. We will pray for his recovery." Marie knelt with a little boy on either side of her, and prayed for her sick child.

"O Lord God, I come to You for help and succor.  
You have afflicted my child, Adam.  
Help me to understand that You mean well.  
Give me grace to bear my child's affliction with patience and strength.  
Bless me, O Father, and restore my son, Adam, to health.  
Do not forsake us, but give us an assurance of Your loving Kingdom.  
Bless this illness to me and my child, Adam, and help us both to be better children of Yours because of it.  
In the name of Your Holy Son Jesus Christ. Amen!"

They remained kneeling for a few minutes afterward, and then Marie stood up. "How can we help Adam get better, Maman?" Charlie asked.

"You may help him by praying for him, by being quiet so that he can rest, and by minding your Maman and Papa and Hop Sing," Marie said. She left the boys downstairs while she went up to Adam, and they sat down by the fire and played quietly with their Noah's ark. When Hop Sing came down later, they washed their hands and faces without being told, and then ate bread and milk for supper without complaint. When it was time to go to bed, they went to their room and put on their nightshirts. Ben and Marie were in Adam's room, and they looked up to see the two small boys standing hand in hand in the door of Adam's room.

"We wanted to see Adam," Charles explained.

"He's still very ill," Marie whispered. Hoss began to cry quietly, and Ben motioned to him. He sat down on the side of Adam's bed, and lifted his youngest son on to his lap. Tears streamed down Hoss's face as he stared down at Adam. Charlie moved over next to them, and patted Hoss's leg. "Don't cry, Hossie. We prayed, and God will make him better."

Tears rose for a moment in Ben's eyes, but he managed to hold them back. He didn't want to frighten the boys. "Kiss him goodnight, Hoss, and go to bed." Hoss crawled out of his father's lap, and leaning over Adam, kissed him. Charlie stood on tiptoe and brushed a kiss across Adam's face. It was not part of the boys' night time ritual, but it seemed a natural thing to do that evening. They each kissed Ben good night, and then followed Marie to their bedroom. It was chilly, and she built up the fire in the stove, and put an extra quilt on the bed. "You have been very good this evening, my children. I'm very proud of both of you." She turned down the lamp, kissed them good night, and left them.

**...**

The next day was December 18, Hoss's fifth birthday. Ben and Marie had purchased a present for the boy before they left New Orleans, but both were so concerned about Adam they had forgotten about the significance of the day. Hoss was not aware of it himself. He just woke up feeling that he had to do more to help his family.

Charlie was still asleep when Hoss slid out of bed and dressed. He went downstairs and put on his coat, hat, scarf, and mittens. He went to the kitchen, and got the egg basket and went to the chicken coop. He tossed out a handful of grain, and while the chickens were scratching and pecking, he began to search for eggs. He found more than a dozen, and went back to the kitchen. Hop Sing was there. "Where have you been, Hoss?"

"I went to get the eggs for Adam," Hoss handed the full basket to Hop Sing. "I fed the chickens, too. Now I'll go milk the cow."

Hop Sing took the eggs, and smiled down at the little boy. Has your father shown you how to milk the cow yet, Hoss?"

Hoss shook his head. "Then you must let me do it, but you have been a great help this morning. Go wash your hands and face, and wake Charlie. It is almost time for your breakfast."

Hoss put up his outdoor things, washed his hands and face, and climbed the stairs to wake Charlie. He stopped by the open door of Adam's room, and saw Pa and Marie kneeling by their oldest son's bed. They were praying, and Hoss decided he'd better not disturb them while they were talking to God. He went down the hall to his room to find Charlie up and getting dressed. "Where did you go, Hoss?"

"I went out to feed the chickens and collect the eggs for Adam. Hop Sing told me I'd better let him milk the cow. He sent me to get you - it's almost time for breakfast." They went back downstairs, and found Marie and Ben at the table, waiting for them. Both parents were heavy-eyed, but they smiled when they saw Hoss and Charlie. The boys climbed on their chairs and Hoss found a gift at his place. "What's this?"

"Happy Birthday, Hoss," said Marie. "You are five years old today."

"And Hop Sing told us how you went out and fed the chickens and collected the eggs. You're beginning your fifth year in a very grown-up way." Ben smiled at the boy.

Hoss blushed. "I just wanted to help Adam." He opened the gift. It was a black leather-bound Bible with "Eric Morgan Cartwright" stamped in gold on the cover. He read the name and looked at Ben questioning, "I know I'm Eric after Mama Inger's father, but who is Morgan?"

"My father's name was Morgan," Ben explained. "You're named after both your grandfathers."

Hoss opened the Bible. On the flyleaf was written, "To Eric Morgan Cartwright on the occasion of his fifth birthday from his father, Benjamin Morgan Cartwright and stepmother, Marie D'Aurigny Cartwright."

Hoss read it. "Hey, Pa, your name is Morgan, too." He smiled brightly at his father. "I'm named partly after you, too."

"That's right, son, we share the same middle name. Now come here - there's something special I must do." Hoss got down from his chair and went to his father. Ben scooted his chair back, and lifted Hoss onto his lap, stomach down. He gently struck the boy's bottom five times. "There - that's a smack for each year you've been with me and here's one to grow on." He gave Hoss's bottom another light smack and sat him back up. Hoss's face wore a big grin, and he hugged his father before he returned to his place.

Hop Sing served their breakfast - eggs, bacon, and biscuits. Hoss looked at it in surprise. "No oatmeal - but it isn't Sunday."

"Today is special because it's your birthday, and so we will eat your favorite breakfast." Marie explained. She ate quickly, and then left the table to return to Adam's side. Marie and Ben hadn't liked leaving Adam alone, even for a few minutes, but they didn't want to slight Hoss on his birthday. When she got back to his room, she saw that there was little change. The water in his bowl was tepid, and she picked up the bowl and pitcher to take downstairs and get some fresh cool water.

Adam was dreaming. They were out on the trail, and Inger had just given birth to Hoss. In his dream, she had stepped away for a few minutes, leaving him in charge of his new baby brother. Hoss was crying, and Adam didn't know what to do. "Mama," he called. "Mama." He had to go find her. Adam sat up in his bed, and threw off the covers. He ran downstairs and outside before anyone realized what was happening. "Mama," he called as he ran. "Mama, Hoss is crying for you." Ben jumped to his feet, and ran after the boy, but Adam was fast and had a good head start. He was almost to the woods before Ben caught him up. As he carried him back to the house, Adam fought him every step of the way. "Hoss is crying for Mama. I have to get her. Mama! Mama!"

Ben tried to soothe him. "Hoss is fine, Adam. He's fine. He's here at the house with you and me and Charlie and Marie." It took all Ben's strength to control the boy without hurting him. He put Adam back to bed, and asked Hoss to come in and speak to him.

"Adam, it's Hoss - I'm five years old today. I'm not crying. I'm not a baby. I'm a big boy." In spite of Hoss's words, Adam continued to flail and call out for Inger. Marie watched him for a few minutes, and then, wrapping him up in a quilt, picked him up and sat down in the chair, holding him across her lap. She began to rock him and sing a lullaby to him, and, at last, he quieted down. Ben reached to take him from her, but she shook her head, and continued to rock the boy in her lap.

Hop Sing came in with a cup of broth for Adam, and fed it to him while Marie held him. Ben dampened a cloth for her, and she wiped Adam's forehead. Marie spent the rest of the morning telling Adam stories she'd heard as a child. Hoss and Charlie stood in the door and watched and listened to the stories. They sat down on the floor of Adam's room, and, since they were quiet, Ben didn't make them leave. Every so often Hop Sing would bring Adam a cup of broth or tea and feed it to him while Marie held him. At last Hop Sing came up and whispered to something to Ben. Ben lifted Adam off Marie's lap, and motioned to her to come downstairs. Marie looked down to see a large wet stain on the front of her dress. She took a fresh nightshirt from Adam's chest, and followed Ben and Hop Sing downstairs. She'd change later.

Hop Sing had built up the fire in the bathing room and heated it to the point that the room was uncomfortable for Ben and Marie. The water in the tub was an odd color, and Hop Sing explained it was an herbal infusion that might break his fever. They unwrapped Adam from the quilt, and Ben took off his nightshirt and lowered him into the herb bath.

Hop Sing removed the stained nightshirt and took the fresh one from Marie. With Ben and Hop Sing there she ran back upstairs to change her clothes. After changing she took a clean quilt from her chest and took it down to the bathing room. Ben was supporting Adam in the bath while Hop Sing washed the boy's body with an herbal soap. When the water began to cool, Ben lifted him out and laid him on a flannel Hop Sing had heated at the fireplace. They dried him carefully and put him in the fresh nightshirt. Hop Sing tied herbal-infused flannel strips around his ankles and wrists, and then stood back as Ben wrapped him up in the clean quilt, and took him back upstairs.

Adam lay quiet in his bed. The bright color in his cheeks had started to fade, and Ben recalled the ghastly gray color that Elizabeth's face had taken on when she was dying. He thought his heart would break if God took his son. Adam had been his partner for ten years - his reason for living after Elizabeth's death. The boy had kept him grounded through their long difficult trek West, and Adam had recognized Inger's worth long before Ben. Ben still wasn't sure that Inger would have married him had she not fallen in love with Adam. And after her death, it had been Adam who had taken Ben's hand and led him from her grave, walked alongside him as their wagon train continued its journey. Adam was such a part of his life, a part of him, Ben didn't think he could go on if he lost The boy. He buried his face in the covers and wept. He didn't know how long he stayed there. He felt Marie touch his hair, but he shook her hand off and she left him alone. She was frightened for him, for him and Adam both. They had done everything they knew to break Adam's fever, and now it was up to God. Marie went downstairs with her rosary, and knelt to pray for Adam's recovery, for Ben, and for her family. When she finished, she returned to Adam's room. She didn't disturb Ben as he knelt on the floor next to Adam's bed. She sat in the chair with her rosary in her hands, and continued to pray silently.

Hoss and Charlie played in their room, trying to stay out of the way. They finally got their schoolbooks and slates out, and went over old lessons. It forced Hoss to concentrate on something else, and he was able to forget about Adam for awhile.

Ben felt something touch his hand, and he looked up. Adam's eyes were open, and he was looking at his father - looking and really seeing him. Ben took Adam's fingers gently in his and smiled at him. "Adam, how do you feel?" he whispered.

"I'm hungry." Marie stood up.

"Then I will bring you something to eat." She left the room and went down to the kitchen. Hop Sing looked up as she entered. "His fever has broken. He's hungry."

Hop Sing smiled. "I will prepare hot tea and toast."

Marie left the kitchen and walked outside. Adam was better - he would recover. She began to cry loud, ugly, scary sobs. Her legs wouldn't hold her and she fell on her knees in the snow. Her face was buried in her hands. She didn't know anyone was near until she felt someone pulling her hands away and giving her a handkerchief. She wiped her face and blew her nose, and looked up to see Ben staring down at her in concern. "Adam's going to be all right, Marie."

"I know," she sobbed. "I was just so afraid we were going to lose him. I could not cry before because you needed me - everyone needed me - to be strong, but now it is over, and he'll recover." She burst into sobs again, and Ben sat down next to her, holding her close and letting her cry. When she was calm, they continued to sit in the snow, just holding each other. At last they stood up, and walked around the yard a little bit before going back inside. Hoss and Charlie were in front of the fireplace with their soldiers. Hop Sing had put a plate of cookies on the table, and they'd helped themselves. They looked up when Marie and Ben came inside. Charlie saw his mother's face, and he jumped up and ran to her. He pulled on her skirt, and she bent down to him. "Is Adam dead?" he whispered.

Marie hugged him. "No, my son. Adam is doing very well. He woke up a few minutes ago and asked for something to eat. That is always a good sign. Hop Sing made him some tea and toast."

"Then why have you and Pa been crying?" he asked.

Ben heard the question, and picked the little boy up. "We're all right, Charlie. You're a good boy to worry about your mother."

Charlie hugged him. "I worry about you, too, Pa."

Ben hugged him back. "You're a good son." He set the child down, and he and Marie went upstairs to Adam.


	6. Chapter 6

"When can I get out of bed?" Adam asked for the tenth time that morning. It was December 23. He'd been confined to bed for six days, and was more than ready to leave it. That morning Ben had finally given out of patience and threatened to tie him in the bed if he caught him trying to get up again. "I have things to do, and I'm bored." He whined. "You won't let me study; you won't let me read; you won't let me practice the guitar. Hop Sing keeps these flannel clothes tied around my wrists and ankles, and he makes me bathe with that funny smelling soap. He keeps herbs boiling on the stove so the room smells funny."

Marie wanted to laugh, but she didn't. Adam was feeling much better, but he was still very weak even if he didn't realize it. Dr. Martin had come out to see him the day after the crisis. He'd told Ben and Marie that several people had died from the fever, and suggested keeping Adam in bed for a full week if they could manage it. He'd frightened Ben so much that he'd ordered Adam to have complete bed rest, and had forbidden him all activity. Marie was sympathetic with her stepson's boredom, but she agreed with her husband's decision.

"If you are good today, you may be allowed to get up for awhile tomorrow. It is important that you get strong soon so that you can help us with the Christmas cookies. Hoss and Charlie are anxious for you to help them make and decorate them."

"Christmas is in two days - I'm not ready, Maman. I haven't finished making my presents." Tears rose in Adam's eyes, and it was an indication to Marie that he was still very weak. Until his illness, she'd never seen Adam cry.

"Your recovery is gift enough for us all," Marie said firmly. "You shouldn't be concerned about presents." Tears rolled down Adam's cheeks and Marie softened her tone.

"Who do you need to make a present for, my son?" Marie asked.

"Pa and Hoss and Charlie." He pointed to his desk drawer, and Marie opened it. She found four carvings inside and took them out.

"I was making Hoss and Charlie two new soldiers and a new set of horses for their Noah's ark. I finished the carving, but I need to paint them. I was going to make Pa a picture frame, but I never even got to start it." Adam was crying hard now, and Marie wiped the tears away with her fingers.

"This is nothing to cry about, my son. I will bring you some paint, and you may paint the animals and soldiers for your brothers."

"What about the frame for Pa?"

"I wil get you the wood you need, but you must let me help you. You must understand that we nearly lost you, my dearest one, and that you are still very weak." She kissed Adam's forehead. It was cool, and she went downstairs to get the paint for him. Hoss and Charlie were hard at work at the table with paper and colored pencils.

"How are your pictures coming, my sons?" Marie asked.

"They're beautiful, Maman," said Charlie. "See mine." Marie looked at the picture Charlie was drawing as a gift for Ben. There was a tall man with dark hair and eyes, a woman with brown hair and green eyes, a Chinese man, and three boys, one with black hair, one with yellow hair, and one with brown hair. Up in the sky was another figure. He seemed to be hovering over the family.

"Who is that, Charlie?" Marie pointed to the figure in the sky.

"That's my Papa - Pa said he was watching over me, but I want him to watch over all of us. What color was his hair, Maman?"

"His hair was brown." Marie stood for a second, watching her son color the hair of the father he'd never known. Charlie had heard stories about Jean from Ben and Adam, and come to know his father through them. Marie would not take that away from him, but she felt a flash of bitterness as she remembered the husband who had abandoned her and their son because he'd believed an evil lie. She shook herself and moved to Hoss.

"May I see your picture, Hoss?"

"Yes, Maman." The five year old leaned back to show her a drawing of a woman with brown hair and green eyes. "It isn't quite right, because we don't have the right colors for your hair and eyes. Pa has a picture of Adam's mother and mine, and I wanted him to have a picture of you. Do you like it?"

"I think you have made me look beautiful, Hoss." She smiled and touched the blonde hair of her stepson.

Hoss looked from her to the picture and back to her. "You are beautiful, Maman. Pa says you're the beautifullest woman he's ever seen."

Marie smiled and kissed the top of his head. She slipped on her cape, and went out to the barn. She looked through the scraps of wood until she found four pieces that she thought would do for Adam's frame. She took them back inside and went up to her room. She got bottles of paint and brushes, some glue, and yarn, and took everything to Adam's room. He was awake, and she piled pillows behind him, and helped him sit up. She placed a flat board across his lap, and put the carved figures on it along with the paint and brushes. "There you are, my son. I brought you some yarn and glue for the horses' manes." Adam smiled at her, and she sat down in the chair and picked up her knitting.

She watched him work, and saw how carefully he used the paint, adding details that would improve the look of the simple toys. He saw her watching him, and he stopped working. "I'm sorry about whining this morning, Maman. I know that you and Pa act for our good."

"We love you and your brothers very much, Adam, and we understand how much an active boy like you hates to stay in bed." She smiled at him, and he knew his behavior was forgiven and forgotten. Pa would not have been so patient, but he had learned from both Mama and Maman that mothers were more patient and gentle and quicker to forgive, slower to punish - unless you scared them.

They worked together through the morning, and Marie noticed that Adam seemed tired. She stood up and put the tops back on the bottles of paint and collected the brushes. She put his carvings in the window where they would dry and be out of the way. Finally she took the board off his lap, and leaned it against the foot of his bed. She took a pillow away from his back, and helped him lie down. She pulled her chair closer to his bed, and began to stroke his forehead gently and sing a lullaby. Adam's eyes began to close, and soon he was asleep. Marie adjusted his covers and went back downstairs. Hoss and Charlie had finished their pictures, and she rolled them up and tied them with ribbons. She handed them to each boy. "Now they are ready to give to Pa for Christmas." The boys ran upstairs to hide them in their room

Marie set the table for herself and Hoss and Charlie. Ben would eat his dinner with Adam. He came inside as she was finishing, and took off his coat and hat. "It's cold out there today. No wonder Adam got sick. I don't know what I was thinking to let him work with me in the barn."

Ben blamed himself for Adam's illness, and Marie was tired of it. "Ben, Adam was not the only one in Virginia City with the fever. He probably caught it when we went to church. You are not to blame. You are a wonderful father, and he loves spending time with you. He must learn his work from you, and no one could take better care of the boys than you."

Her tone was sharp, and she had never spoken to him that way. He stared at her in surprise. "Go wash your hands. Dinner is ready, and Adam is waiting for you."

Ben didn't answer her - he went to the bathing room and washed his face and hands before going upstairs to check on Adam. He was asleep, and Ben stood in the doorway, looking at him. He was looking better, Ben thought, and he turned and went back downstairs.

"Adam is asleep, so I think I'll eat with the rest of you today." Marie set another place, and took her seat at the foot of the table. Hoss and Charlie climbed up in their chairs and waited while Ben said grace.

Hop Sing served a beef stew. It looked good, but the smell of it made Marie feel sick. She stood up. "I think I hear Adam. I must check on him - the rest of you eat." She went upstairs to the room she shared with Ben and took a deep breath. There, that was better. She'd gotten used to the herbs Hop Sing was using in Adam's room, and the scent made food odors smell different to her. She went into Adam's room and sat down, watching the boy sleep. In a few minutes, she heard a step and looked up to see Ben standing in the door.

She put her finger to her lips, and slipped out of the room. "He was sound asleep. It must have been my imagination." She turned to leave, but Ben caught her arm, and pulled her down the hall to their bedroom.

"Is something wrong, Marie?" Ben looked concerned.

"No, of course not, why do you ask?"

"You don't seem to be yourself. You snapped at me earlier, and you didn't eat dinner with us."

Marie sighed. "I did not realize I did that. I apologize, my husband."

"I'll keep the boys this afternoon. Why don't you stay up here and rest? I'll ask Hop Sing to brew you some tea, and I'll bring it up later."

It sounded wonderful to Marie. She was feeling tired, and a cup of tea was just what she needed, she thought. "Thank you, my husband." She sat down on the bed and Ben knelt to unbutton her shoes. She appreciated the little attention, and lay down. He covered her with a quilt, and she was asleep before he left the room. She wasn't sure how long she slept, but she woke to a gentle tapping on the door. "Come."

Hop Sing opened the door and came in, carrying a tray. There was tea and a slice of toast. He put it down, and drew a small table up next to the bed. Marie sat up and watched as he placed the tray on it. "Thank you, Hop Sing. I'll bring it down when I finish."

"No, Mrs. Cartwright. You shouldn't lift anything heavy. I will come for it." He bowed and left the room. He looked in on Adam, and saw that the boy was still asleep. That was good, he thought. He continued downstairs. Ben was reading to Hoss and Charlie. He could tell from their heavy eyes that they were about to drift off to sleep. That would be good. He needed to speak with Mr. Cartwright. In a few minutes, Ben went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

Hop Sing poured him a cup and put it on the table. "Mr. Cartwright, I must speak with you about Mrs. Cartwright."

Ben took a sip of coffee and waited. Had Marie snapped at Hop Sing? Was he going to quit? It was neither of those things. "Mr. Cartwright, Mrs. Cartwright needs a maid to help her. I have a cousin, Lee Sing, who would be very good. She speaks English very well, and moves very quietly through the house. She would be of great help to Mrs. Cartwright."

Ben took a deep breath. Marie had been working very hard, he knew, and there was no end to it. "Has Mrs. Cartwright complained, or have you noticed that she seems tired?" Marie was young, only twenty-three - well, twenty-four on her birthday, which he'd forgotten.

"Mrs. Cartwright never complains, but she needs a maid to help her."

"Well, thank you, Hop Sing. I'll consider it." Ben took his coffee and went back out to the great room. Charlie and Hoss were sound asleep on the settee. He covered them with his coat and an Indian blanket, and sat down at his desk to go over the books. Marie had taken on the bookkeeping responsibilities soon after their marriage, and Ben was grateful. Like his first wife, Elizabeth, she was quick with numbers.

He heard a light footstep on the stairs and looked up to see Adam holding onto the bannister and moving slowly down the stairs. He was in his nightshirt with no robe and barefoot. Ben jumped up and ran up the stairs to stop him. He picked Adam up and carried him back to his room. "What were you thinking, son?" He felt Adam's feet. "Your feet are like ice."

"I'm sorry, Pa. I was hungry, and I wanted to get something to eat."

"I'll bring you a tray." Ben left and was back in a few minutes with a tray. He set it down on Adam's lap and watched as the boy ate. Hop Sing had given him tea and toast with butter and jam. Adam ate hungrily. "That was good, Pa."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, son." Ben watched as Adam licked his fingertip, and used it to pick up the crumbs on the plate. He grinned. "Don't let Maman see you do that."

Adam smiled back. "She's a lady, and she has to be more particular about manners."

"She's lying down right now. I brought these pieces in for you to see if you'd like to add anything to them." Ben took out the donkey, cow, sheep, and lamb that Adam had carved. He added the two shepherds he had made. "What do you think, son?"

Adam picked up each one and studied it carefully. "I like them as they are - they're simple and they'll fit in with her creche. The figurines are plain. What do you think?"

Ben ruffled Adam's curls. "I agree with you, son." He picked the figures up. "Now all we need is something to put them in."

"I have a box under my bed, Pa. I've been saving it to use for something special, and I think these would fit inside." Ben bent to look under Adam's bed, and he pulled out an old cigar box that Adam had used to store his treasures during their travel West.

"I remember this box, Adam - Inger gave it to you. Are you sure you want to give it to Marie?"

Adam opened it, and Ben saw that it was empty. "I'm sure, Pa. We have our home now, and I have my own room. I don't need a box for my treasures now."

Ben wiped the box off, and they put the figures inside. There was just enough room, and Ben put the box in Adam's chest.

**...**

The next day was Christmas Eve. Ben went into Adam's room after breakfast, and found him wide awake and excited about leaving his bed and his room. Ben helped him into his robe, and put his slippers on his feet. He wrapped Adam up in a quilt, and carried him downstairs. Marie had placed pillows on the settee, and Adam was made as comfortable as possible. He looked up and saw the creche on the mantle. He studied it, and knew that the figures he and Pa had carved would be perfect. He smiled, thinking of Maman's face when she saw them.

Hoss and Charlie were delighted to see Adam downstairs. "You can help us decorate the cookies, Adam, and you can read to us."

"Boys, this is Adam's first day downstairs in a week. You must not tire him out," Marie said.

Adam smiled up at her. "They won't tire me out - I've missed doing things with them."

Marie put an old sheet down on the big table in front of the fireplace and brought down the board from Adam's room. She put it across his lap. She settled Hoss and Charlie on either side of the table, and then brought over the cookies that she and Hop Sing had baked. She and Hop Sing had made different colors from vegetables, and colored icing for the boys to use on their cookies. They got to work, and the room was quiet as each boy worked on creating the most beautiful cookie.

The door opened, and Ben came in, carrying a tree. He had cut it the night before, and stored it in the barn. He'd built the stand for it that morning, and now it was ready to be decorated. Charlie had never seen a tree in a house before, and he went over to look at it. Hoss was disappointed that he hadn't been allowed to go with his father to choose and cut the tree. He started to say something, but then he remembered that Adam wouldn't have been able to go and he didn't say anything.

Marie took out the ornaments that Ben and Adam had made and went to pop some popcorn. The little boys enjoyed putting the animals on the tree. By the time the corn was popped, they were ready for a break, and they sat down and began stringing the popcorn. They stopped to eat dinner - chicken and dumplings. It was the first solid food Adam had had since he'd been sick, and Hop Sing had kept him in mind when he made it. After dinner, Ben picked Adam up and carried him back to bed. "You don't have to sleep, son, but I'd like you to rest in bed for awhile."

Adam lay in bed, and wondered how he could get Pa's gift made - and he needed to glue the yarn to the horses for their manes. Marie came in just in time to see the worried frown on Adam's face. "Now, what did I say to you, my son?"

"That I was not to worry."

"That's right." Marie put the board across his lap, and put the horses, yarn and glue on it. She handed Adam her scissors, and, while he worked on the horses' manes, she slipped out to the barn, and got a small hammer and some nails. The horses were done by the time she got back, and she set them in the window to dry. She gave Adam the pieces of wood for the frame, and they measured and marked off the lengths together. Marie took them back out to the barn and sawed the pieces to the correct size. It was a small project, and it took her only a few minutes. She slipped back into Adam's room, and showed him the pieces. They fit together perfectly, and Adam nailed them into place. He held it up and studied it.

"What do you think, Adam?"

He smiled. "I think Pa will like it. Thank you, Maman. I couldn't have done it without your help."

"I'm your Maman - I'm here to help you. Now I have one more thing for you." Marie took three pouches from her pocket. "I made these for you to put the soldiers and horses in for the boys, and this larger one is for your Papa's frame."

Adam's eyes widened. "They're perfect, Maman, thank you." She smiled, and put the pouches on Adam's desk. She took the board off his lap. "Now, Adam, I'd like you to take a nap until supper. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, Maman." She bent to kiss his forehead, and Adam reached up, put his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek. It was the first time he had kissed her, and Marie was touched. She said nothing, but smoothed his hair back and left him.

She went downstairs and began to sweep up the pine needles that had fallen from the tree when Ben brought it inside. Then she put away the cookies that the boys had decorated. Finally, she cleaned off the table and threw the old sheet into the ragbag. She stood, looking around the room, wondering what she had missed. As she turned, she realized that the room was swaying back and forth. She thought she heard Ben cry out, but then there was nothing.

**...**

Ben sat next to her on the bed and held her hand. "Hop Sing tried to tell me that you were doing too much, and I wouldn't listen."

Marie tried to sit up, but Ben pushed her back gently. "I sent Hop Sing into town to get Dr. Martin. He'll be here soon, and we'll know what's wrong. I'd think you'd caught Adam's fever, but your forehead is cool."

Marie let go of Ben's hand and sat up defiantly. "Ben, I am not ill. I do not have a fever. You must calm down - you have frightened our sons."

Ben turned to see Adam, Hoss, and Charlie standing in the door, their eyes wide and faces pale. "Is Maman sick?" Hoss asked.

"No, my sons, I am fine. I was just a little faint, and your Papa panicked." She opened her arms, and Hoss and Charlie ran to her and climbed up on the bed. Ben slid back and Adam sat down next to him. Ben studied his wife carefully. Her color was better, and she seemed fine, but he decided to hire Hop Sing's cousin the day after Christmas. Whether she would admit it or not, Marie was working too hard. While he was thinking, she lid off the other side of the bed and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Ben asked.

"You sent Hop Sing to town for Dr. Martin. Someone has to prepare supper for our children, and, since you are not a good cook, that leaves me." She went downstairs with Hoss and Charlie at her heels.

Ben and Adam looked at each other. "Who told her I'm not a good cook?" Ben asked.

Adam shrugged. "I need to get back to bed."

**...**

By the time Hop Sing was back with Dr. Martin, Marie was taking biscuits from the oven and stirring a chicken gumbo on the stove. A delicious smell filled the house, and Paul smiled as he came inside. Adam was sitting on the settee, wrapped up in quilts and propped up with pillows. Hoss and Charlie had set the table in front of the fireplace so that Adam could join the family for the meal. A Christmas tree stood in front of the stairs, decorated with animal shapes and a couple of short popcorn strings. Ben was sitting in his leather chair and Marie was nowhere in sight.

Paul went over and began checking Adam. "There's no fever, and your color is excellent. Pulse is good. How long did your parents keep you in bed?"

"Today is my first day up, and Pa keeps carrying me up and down the stairs. I'm not the one you're here to see, though."

"Oh?" Paul looked around. Hoss and Charlie looked fine. Ben looked up at him. "Marie fainted earlier this afternoon, but she says she's fine now, and she's making supper."

"Well, I'll check on her anyway." Paul went into the kitchen, and in a moment, he and Marie came out and went upstairs. After a few minutes, Ben followed them. The door to their bedroom was closed, and Ben tapped gently on it. "Just a minute," Marie called. The door opened, and Marie and Paul came out and went downstairs. Ben followed them. He caught Paul's arm. "What's wrong with her? Is she doing too much? Is life out here too hard for her? Hop Sing said I should hire a maid for her."

Paul patted Ben's shoulder. "Ben, you love your wife. She's perfectly fine. She's invited me to supper, and it smells like it's ready. Let's eat."

The family sat around the table, and Ben said grace with a special thanks for Adam's recovery. The gumbo was delicious, reminiscent of New Orleans.

"This is wonderful, Marie," Paul said. "If this is typical of New Orleans' cuisine, I must plan a trip soon."

"Thank you, Paul, I'm glad you're enjoying it."

After supper, Paul left, and Ben, Hoss, and Charlie cleared the dishes. Marie and Adam sat and watched them work. Then Marie sent Hoss and Charlie upstairs to get a pair of everyone's shoes. They brought them down, and lined them up on the hearth. "Are we ready for Pere Noel now, Maman?" Hoss asked.

"Not quite," said Marie. "What is missing? Charles, do you remember?"

Charlie thought for a few minutes, and Marie waited. "I know - hay. We must put out some hay for Pere Noel's horse."

"Oui, mon fils." Marie smiled as Charlie turned to Ben. "Pa, we have to put out some hay for Pere Noel's horse. Can I come with you?"

"Why don't you and Hoss both come with me? We'll put it out in front of the window so your mother and Adam can watch.

Ben put on his coat and hat, and Marie helped Charlie and Hoss into their coats, hats, scarves, and mittens. Marie put her arm around Adam and helped him to the window. They stood watching as Ben, Charlie, and Hoss brought a large wood pail out of the barn. They went back and came out with armloads of hay. Charlie, Hoss, and Ben dropped the armloads into the pail. They looked up and waved to Marie and Adam, and then came back inside.

They took off their coats, and Ben sat down in his big leather chair. Hoss ran upstairs and got his new Bible. "Here, Pa, you can read the Christmas story from my Bible this year." Hoss looked so happy that Ben took the Bible from him and turned to the book of Luke. Hoss climbed up his lap, and Marie sat on the settee next to Adam. Her arms were around his shoulders, and he leaned against her. Charlie looked left out, so Ben shifted Hoss to one leg. He motioned to Charlie, and the little boy settled himself on Ben's other leg. Ben began reading, "And it came to pass..."

When he finished the reading, they sat in silence for a few minutes. Charlie yawned, and Marie remembered that in the excitement of the afternoon, Hoss and Charlie hadn't had their naps. "Well, I see young men who should get to bed. Pere Noel will not come to houses where the children are awake." Hoss and Charlie got up and kissed Ben goodnight. They went by the settee, and kissed Adam goodnight, and then were shepherded upstairs by Marie. She saw them into bed, and kissed them goodnight. She turned the light down low, and left them. She met Ben and Adam in the hall as Ben carried Adam to bed. She stopped and kissed Adam goodnight, and then went downstairs. She put out Adam's gifts for his brothers and Ben, and then went to the kitchen where she'd hidden her own gifts for her family, and took them into the great room. She put candy, a top, and an orange in each boy's shoes. She put the other gifts for the children near each child's shoes.

Then she sat down and stretched her legs out towards the fire. Ben came downstairs, carrying boxes. He put them out, and then sat down next to Marie. She leaned against him and rested her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her, and drew her close. "Is it midnight?" Marie asked.

"Not yet, darling, why?"

"I'm going to give you your present early."

Ben smiled, and Marie laughed. "That isn't quite what I meant." She put his hand on her stomach. "This gift will be delivered in June."

Ben sat up. "What?"

Marie picked up her knitting, and showed him a tiny yellow bootee. "I think this color will be good for a girl or a boy, don't you?"

"I love you so much," Ben said.

"I know - and I love you, mon mari." Marie stood up and walked around the room, turning down the lamps. Ben banked the fire and shot the bolt across the door. With their arms around each other, they climbed the stairs and went to bed.

**...**

Adam woke up, feeling like someone was in his room. He opened his eyes to see Hoss and Charlie staring at him. "What are you doing up?"

"It's Christmas morning, Adam. We want to see if Pere Noel has come."

"We can't go down without Pa and Maman. Go wake them up." Adam closed his eyes.

"We can't - their door is locked," whined Charles.

Adam wished he'd thought to lock his door. "Go get one of your books, and I'll read to you until they get up. We can't go downstairs without them."

Charlie climbed up into bed with Adam while Hoss went to get a book. He brought back a collection of fairy tales, and settled on Adam's other side. Adam began reading to them, and, after a few minutes, realized that they'd fallen asleep. He dozed off himself, and woke up to find Ben and Marie standing in his door, smiling at the three of them. Hoss and Charlie woke at the same time, and jumped off the bed. "You're up! We can go see what Pere Noel brought us! Come on!"

Marie caught the boys by their hands. "Wait for Adam and Papa, children."

Adam stood up before his father could wrap him in a quilt and pick him up. He put on his robe and slippers, and then walked downstairs. Ben walked behind him, ready to catch him if he faltered. Once he was downstairs and in his favorite blue chair, Ben wrapped him up like a mummy in his quilt. He built up the fire while Marie sat down in her rocking chair. Hoss and Charlie went to the hearth and picked up their shoes. "Wait, boys," said Marie. "Bring us all our shoes before you start going through your things." The boys immediately put down their shoes and delivered shoes to Adam, Ben, and Marie. Marie pulled a small box from her shoe, and opened it to find a small pair of diamond earrings. She looked up to see Ben watching her. "Thank you," she mouthed to him. He smiled as she put them on.

Marie handed Adam a package. "Here, Adam, I chose this for you in New Orleans. It is a gift for a young man." Adam opened it. It was a leather-bound journal. "You must write in it everyday or almost everyday. A journal is important in examining one's life."

"Thank you, Maman." He handed Marie a wood cigar box. Marie opened it and saw the animals and shepherds. "Adam, are these for the creche?"

"Yes, Pa helped me carve them. We looked in the Bible to see what other animals were in the stable. Do you like them?"

"They're wonderful, darling. Thank you. Our family will enjoy them for years to come."

Ben handed Adam another wrapped gift. "Another present?"

"Yes, well, you're overdue for this particular gift, son."

Adam unwrapped it. It was a black leather-bound Bible with his name stamped across the bottom, "Adam Stoddard Cartwright."

"Thank you, Pa."

Ben was admiring the picture Charlie had drawn for him. "This is a lovely picture of our family. Thank you. Um, Charlie, who is this figure up in the clouds?"

"That's my Papa - he's watching over all of us."

"That's a good thought, son."

He untied the ribbon from Hoss's picture and unrolled it. "That's Maman, Pa. You have pictures of Adam's mother, and my mother, and I thought you would like to have a picture of Maman. Isn't she beautiful?"

Ben smiled at Hoss. "Yes, son, she is, and I think you've captured her perfectly."

Hoss nodded. "That's what I thought. She thought I was making her too pretty, but I told her you said she was the beautifullest woman you'd ever seen."

Marie blushed to the roots of her hair and looked down.

Hoss and Charlie opened the small pouches and pulled out their new soldiers and horses. "Thank you, Adam, we really needed these for our battles and Noah's ark."

Ben examined the frame that Adam made him. "This is beautifully made, son. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Pa. Maman helped me."

Hoss and Charlie brought Marie two ribbon-bound rolls. She pulled the ribbon off and looked at a picture of a man with black hair and brown eyes. "It's a picture of Pa, Maman. I thought you should have one of him."

"Thank you, Hoss, it is just what I wanted."

She pulled the ribbon off the other one, and unrolled it. It was a picture of a woman riding a horse."Thank you, Charlie. Is this me?"

"Yes, Maman. It's you riding the horse Pa's going to give you for your birthday."

"Charlie! You spoiled the surprise!" Hoss scolded.

Big tears rolled down Charlie's cheeks, and he looked Down. Ben picked him up. "Hoss, Charlie didn't spoil anything. He drew a beautiful picture of his mother on her horse. It cannot be a surprise, because Maman has to pick it out." He hugged Charlie and set him down.

Marie stood up. "If you will pick up your things, and take everyone's presents to their rooms, I'll see about breakfast."

Ben walked over and scooped her up in his arms. "Ben!" she gasped.

He put her down on the settee and draped a blanket over her legs. "There now, my lady, you and Adam will sit here and enjoy a morning of leisure. Hoss and Charlie will help me make breakfast." The little boys followed him into the kitchen, giggling all the way.


End file.
